TURKEY!!

Happy Turkey day (:
Hope everyone eats tons of food, has fun, & sees all their family.

ps...TURKEY!

People

People don't understand..why I am the way I am. Why? It's because of the good an bad people. I try to look at the bright side of things. But sometimes I just crack, like last night for an example. I don't see how people think it's funny to see people in pain. I usually brush stupid shit like that off. But I couldn't. I was torn, why?? Because it's constantly. People just try to take me down everyday..why? Nothing about me is special. So im still trying to figure that out..

Breaking Dawn!!

Oh, the Twilight series (:
I lovee the series. My friend & I are being nerds, going to the midnight showing. Like a boss! Haha, anyways we  are making shirts. Yep then going to see Eclipse a few hours before. But, we have 2 hours in between each movie. That means....PARTY. I will update after it. After the movie...maybe going in the hot tub and just relax for a few hours. Then go to school. Doesn't sound like a blast??? Be warned. My mood might not be the best (:

Jerks!

Have you ever had a person you just cant stand?

That they think they are such badasses that they dont have to listen to anyone? No matter what you say, they are always right and you are wrong.

FYI - for anyone who is one of them.
Please fix yourselfs.

Fights - Self Evalutation

Fights.
Aren't those fun!! No. They are stupid. And honestly its the most fucking hurtful thing to me.
Some may ask...why?

Let me tell you,
No matter who it is, family or friends. They will point out your flaws.
Here while we are at it, let me list them out for all of you.
---------------------------
Im fat
Im loud
Im not the prettiest
Im constantly judging myself
Im constantly feel bad for my family that they have to deal with me
Im not the best friend to have
I dont know when to shut up and listen
I say I dont give a shit what people say, but I break down when i hear things
Im too emotional
-----------------------------------
There we go, my flaws. Of course I missed some, actually I missed most of them. There's too many count.

So let me tell you the reason why I am writing this blog.
Because, I don't want anyone to do what Im doing. If any fucking low life does this to you. DONT GIVE A SHIT. Its hard to do. But in the long run you will benefit from it, you don't want to be like me. Please take my advice, while also try to, too.

Pep Rally!

I love pep rallies! They are fun also sometimes you get to finally get payback on some of the teachers! They are a time when you get out and have some fun. It's good to have some change

Fails during Fall

Be careful on play grounds! I fell off a swing yesterday and almost got a concussion. And today, I slid off a mary-go-round going super fast and I either tore a muscle or cracked something in me knee. Trust me, it hurts! The most fun things hurt the worst!
Also, don't be stupid with your friends. It will affect you! Thats how I fell. And no, two people will not fit on a swing. (;

Fair Warning!

School.

School has been..well school. Its boring as usual. Also I've been jammed pack with passports, reports, and projects. That why I haven't posted in forever. Last weekend was a blast. Its was so fun, but I'm paying for it now with my lack of sleep. I hit my head on the ground today so I got to sleep 2 almost three hours. Soo nice! Lets see, people are dumbasses still. Nothing will change that.

Concert

Ah, tonight is my choir concert. And to tell the truth, I'm not excited. I bet is gonna be boring! It better be worth it, cause im missing the real world for it!

School...bummer

Man, lately school has been boring! All it is, is passports (extremely long essays) and constant homework. An I hate both of those! Seriously, let's do something fun for a change!

Dances!

Who doesn't love dances?? I love them! When you meet all your friends there and just dance the night away. Or when you have your cute boyfriend :). Anyways Sadie Hawkins is coming up. If you don't know what that is, it's when the girls ask the guys. Let me tell ya, the girls in my school is pretty freaking creative!

Do you love dances? Let me know (:

Differences

This has been really bugging me lately. So I thought I should share. Well here it goes. Lately around school I've been hearing "faggot, gay,lesbian" and personally, I DONT care if you are a girl and you like girls (vis versa). Why do people call gays faggots? Thats just rude and disrespectful, its like calling someone the c word. Its just down right rude. And honestly let them be, if they didn't do anything to you don't do shit to them, just because they don't like the opposite sex doesn't mean they are not human. They have feelings like you and me.

"You were born this way" - Lady Gaga

Today...

So today, was actually pretty good. Man, no more drama. Yep, I deleted everything that was drama filled on the internet. BEST decision ever! I dont have to see all the drama in the school or at home.


Also I have more time for more important things. Like school, friends, family. Also GOALS!
I've made a blog of goals I want to accomplish before I turn 15

Let me know what you think
http://youhavehalfofit.blogspot.com/

Bad friend

Have you ever felt like a bad friend? You just did/say something without thinking and it just tears you apart after. Or doing Something an old friend did to them. I did that today. She's not replying and it's driving me crazy! I hate when i do stupid shit like this and i cant fix it. It feels like im no good for her. All i do is make her feel like shit. I'm sorry....

Bigger person

My parents always tell me, "be the bigger person" well guess what NEWS FLASH I'm not always going to be. I will be when I kick someone ass. This town is driving me crazy. I need out!

Stress

Why do we stress? I don't understand why we do? Over work, relationships, school. What's the point? Everyone stresses. I stress mostly because I feel like I need to do everything at my best. When I don't, I stress. "Why can't I do this right"  or "what's wrong with me! Come one its easy! stupid"

Work is stressful for me. I just, I don't understand why. People constantly saying my name. "Where's this, where's that?" Im one person. I don't know everything! Pleaseee stop! I figured out I'm going to rot in a cubical for the rest of my life (enter exaggeration here)

Girl Fights

So, I had a "fight" with an old friend. She took us and turned us into bitches. Why? WE WERE TRYING TO BE NICE! but noo, you wanted to start shit. Whatever. Also, DONT act like you didnt do shit. You did. So lets grow up now. We are in high school. This is not second grade!

Nonsense

Im sick of this. Can I be appreciated just once? By my brother. By my parents? They are so happy when my brother gets a's b's & c's. It seems all they care about is my attitude. Why not my grades? Why not my singing opportunity to go to seattle. Why just the bad stuff?

Somethings I will never get.

Comparing

Has it felt like you've been compared with someone else? Like when you get in trouble and your parents say "why can't you be like your sister?? She has never done that!"
Well, I'm not any of my siblings. I'm just simple me. No matter what, I'm not going to be someone else. So why do people compare? Because they imagine that we are going to be like our siblings? That we will have the same life as them? No, because we did something wrong that they would never do. People need to open their eyes and notice we aren't the same person!

Is anyone better than anyone else?

I was walking down the hall today & I was being a goof ball with my friends. I saw the "populars" just staring us down...why?
Are we that different? I dont think so. Just because we like to be ourselfs, doesnt mean your "better" than us. Im sorry we like to live how we want, not what everyone else wants you to. I dont get it, why is everyone judged? No matter who we are, we all judge! Yes, we all hate to say it but its true. I want to be crazy with my friends. If you dont like it, well dont let the door hit you in the ass.
I think we all should be able to act how we want to, talk how we want, and think how you want. Whats the point of judging? All your doing is creating more drama!

So please, lets keep the pre-school stuff, IN PRE-SCHOOL!

Brothers

So I figured out not everyone is lucky to have a down to earth brother. I'm not! Yeah my brother has a few good things about him. He constantly want to fight over the dumbest stuff. How my blog is stupid and pointless, how he brings my friends in the fight. Also he wanted to fight over gravy... Yes gravy. He just wanted to bitch and moan about something. So now, I'm going to see how he reacts when I just cut him out. If he wants to play a game, well buddy I will show you a game! Let's see how this turns out!

Self Harm

This is one of the subject people dont really like to talk about.
But I thought I should share an experience.

I got in a fight with one of my best friends (at the time) and my parents were pissed. And my brother, well my brother was being the jackass he is usually to me. Anyways, I called her. Told her our whole friendship was fake. She was fake, I was fake. Everything was fake to me. I cried for hours and hours. I just didnt know what to do. So, of course I cut myself. I was scared. I talked to my sister, told her not to tell mom or dad. Or else, I guess I would despise her. She talked to my dad. And well they found out. I cussed her out. I was beyond pissed that she betrayed. Of course the girl I am, I took it to higher hights saying I was going to run away, call the cops.
Next day at school. I was torn. My hair was a mess. I didnt give a shit anymore. I lost everything. I talked to some of my friends who have been in my position before. They said they were dissapointed in me. So, afterwards. I wanted to be distant. I cut off relations. And I was an example of the living dead.
                                               I just wanted to die
I was sick of everyones voice. I talked to another friend, I found out everything between me and my so called bestfriend was infact fake. She talked shit on me. She was changing & so was I. We just werent suppose to go on any longer.
Everyday I look at that cut. I hate it. It wasn't worth all the hurt. Please, if you EVER feel like hurting yourself. Talk to someone before that happens. I've been there before. Trust me, you never want to be in that positon in your life.

High School Intro

"Just because you've made it this far, doesn't mean you've made it." - Unknown

This my friends, is highschool. The 4 years where you can be you. The years of fearless emotions, your first love/heartache. This, is what it feels to be a grown up. Everyone talks how they love high school. How it was the best 4 years of their lives..

Well, not for me at least. Yes I am only a freshman but still these people at my school...are different. I wont say I hate them. I guess. People judge to quickly. I mean too quickly! But of course, Im a bigger girl. I stand out of the crowd. Sometimes thats not what I need.

So the point of this blog is to show all my emotions during this year. I'm making this also to see how my life changes while I start losing weight. I want people to see what it is like for a bigger girl in high school. I just want people to understand.

WE AREN'T DIFFERENT FROM ANY OF YOU!